Getting Lost in the Woods & Returning to Self

Life Review by Decades in Year of Fire Horse

1-20:

Lived in five states.
Studied piano age 7-18, won state piano competition 14, scholarship in music conservatory for piano performance, age 17.
Studied college level biology age 15-17, high school scholarship to go into science, 2-year internship in immunology research lab 17-19.
Scoliosis back brace, co-lead city support group, met many folks with disability, 12-16.
Left piano keyboard for wilderness, transferred schools and did college outdoors treks in Utah, Washington, and Oregon.

20-30:

Finished English Lit degree, minor in music while working 25-30 hrs/week work study sorting and delivering mail.
Traveled to work in Japan for several months.
Volunteer tutored weekly ESL sessions with immigrants and refugees, 5 years.
Worked years of temp jobs, administrative office jobs, tech editing.
Completed two-year creative writing certificate through reduced cost courses from university employer.
Employed to handknit sweaters for then fledging Cascade yarn company.
Made first attempt at grad school, to teach Special Education, while working two jobs.
Dropped school and applied for a medical transcription job in a hospital. Ad required 2 years’ experience. I had 2 WEEKS. Passed medical language tests and typing 100+ wpm with flying colors, so was trained in acute care setting.

30-40:

Marriage
Travel to Europe and met my grandmother’s brother and godfather.
Death of stepdaughter
Birth of daughter
Divorce
Transcribed medical reports for clinics and hospitals nationwide 40-60 hrs/week, some night shifts.
Daughter’s life-threatening illness and two years’ treatment.

40-50:

Moved to gifted home with lowered rent and tons of yardwork in exchange to raise child during school years and medical follow-up.
Worked 60+ hrs/week from home transcribing for hospitals, changing from employee status to self-employment until someone shared a way I could work for media production. Transcribed for media production ever since, self-employed.
Working from home allowed me to be present for every one of my child’s school, sports activities.
Completed two half marathons and two full marathons to raise funds for cancer research nonprofits.

50-60:

High school and college graduation of child
Global COVID pandemic
Volunteered at many local community projects, food bank gardens, farms.
My own cancer diagnosis and treatment
My dad’s cancer diagnosis and treatment, passing
Moved rental homes three times, twice circumstances beyond my control.
Second attempt at grad school while working full-time, this time toward a Public Health degree. Completed first year with political, societal, funding changes, facing low reality of employment success as a 60-year-old competing with jobs with my 30-something cohort. First time a teacher let me knit while taking online multiple choice tests (my arch nemesis) proving I could test better while occupying the anxiety part of my brain. (Win!)
Episodes of severe depression.
Sold 26-year-old car and got loan for used car that’s a decade younger that I love.

Pay school loans and all debt, self-employment taxes, thanks to inheritance.
Do as many weekend Rewilding things as I can to feel alive and rebuild strength.
Volunteer for trail maintenance at community center.
Repair free piano missing an octave given to me in order to reconnect to musical expression again.
Either move to a one-bedroom apartment/house without housemate or use second bedroom after current housemate moves on to build a weekend Knit Studio business to host knitting technique classes with self and experts.
Go on first ever several-day Knit Retreat somewhere in the U.S. with curriculum and camaraderie, as long as can find dog/cat-free space for my animal-allergic soul. Sheep welcome!
Research ways to afford first house ownership.
Explore further trauma healing modalities.
Flesh out one scene at a time for memoir.
Keep searching for PT work.